People of all backgrounds play! How we all play may differ but the root of play remains the same, it is everyone’s own unique way of exploring and discovering the world around them. Just think back to a time in your childhood where you were “playing” or “exploring” with your friends. Maybe it was in a treehouse in the backyard, or running around at the park playing tag or dressing up with your parents’ clothes. I am sure there were also some shenanigans you might have gotten into while playing that resulted in something being broken… oops!
Play is how we learn before our prefrontal cortex is fully developed. Our prefrontal cortex is the part of our brain where more formal learning and logical reasoning and decision making happens. One of the most famous quotes by Garry Landreth, the “father” of Child-Centered play therapy, once said, “Toys are children’s words and play is their language.” But just WHY, or better yet, HOW does having children participate in play therapy encourage and enhance their ability to express their emotions? This is one of the most common questions I receive as a child therapist. “How does playing board games or making slime with my child help them process what they are struggling with? It just seems like you are playing together.” Indeed we are, but don’t let that fool you, play is powerful!
How Does Play Therapy Encourage Emotional Expression?
Before we dive into what play therapy is, I want to recognize that there are a variety of approaches or modalities to play therapy. For the purpose of this blog I will be focusing on a combination of Child-Centered and Synergetic Play Therapy. A Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT) approach believes in allowing the child to lead in session. It is defined as a modality that “utilizes play, the natural language of children, and the therapeutic relationship to provide a safe, consistent therapeutic environment in which a child can experience full acceptance, empathy, and understanding from the counselor and process inner experiences and feelings through play and symbols. The overarching goal of CCPT is to unleash the child’s potential to move toward integration and self-enhancing ways of being” (Landreth, 2023). Synergetic Play therapy then further builds off CCPT by really leaning into understanding and modeling our nervous system and natural states of regulation and dysregulation while still allowing a child to lead. 
So, how does play therapy encourage emotional expression? Play therapy allows children to recreate their experience(s) of not only their day to day lives but those situations or events or sensory experiences that evoke strong emotions of anxiety, fear, worry, or sadness. The playroom and toys coupled with the therapist’s presence creates a feeling of safety, acceptance and freedom for a child to enter into. A child is invited to enter the playroom and choose an activity that they are drawn to. There are plenty of items, toys, and activities that offer an opportunity for exploration during a play therapy session. In fact, there are limitless possibilities in a play therapy playroom, and the items within them are chosen and arranged specifically to provide ample opportunity for emotional and creative expression!
Children have an amazing natural way to seek out what they need in the moment. For instance, if a child had a rough day at school where they failed a test or were feeling a lack of social connection, they might come in ready to play a game of Sorry where they get to defeat the therapist and feel victorious. Or maybe they set up the dollhouse and play out a character being picked on our left out of the group games. This is what that child needs in that moment to process and deal with their feelings from their day. This is how a child works through their frustration, sadness and acceptance just like an adult would talk out loud about their feelings from their day to a friend or partner.
Part of allowing for our emotions to be expressed is the simple act of having meaningful connections with someone who can listen to us, not to fix it, but rather just to hear us out and acknowledge how hard it is to deal with that feeling. Play therapy takes this a step further and digs into helping that child gain the skills needed to keep themselves regulated through these hard and tough feelings/experiences. But I just said that kids’ brains aren’t fully developed, so how do we teach kids coping skills?
What Techniques are Used in Play Therapy to Facilitate Self-Expression?
The job of the therapist, besides being present and providing a sense of safety and connection, is to help model and role play coping skills to children. This actually happens for adults sometimes without them even realizing it! For example, just think of a time you got done with an exhausting and stressful work meeting (because we have all been there!). You leave the conference room and let out a huge breath, and maybe even shake out your arms or crack your knuckles. This is what you needed in that moment to release some of the stress you were holding. Now think of other times you do this same exact thing at home in front of your children. This is how you are modeling how to stay regulated amidst the chaos. Your child is always watching how you handle life’s stressors!
The therapist’s job, in session, leans into this role and utilizes various techniques they are trained in to intentionally incorporate. Some of these techniques include:
- Reflective listening
- Modeling of breath
- “Rocking the baby” or providing a nervous system to borrow
When working with adult clients, a therapist typically provides support, empathy, non-judgment and psychoeducation for how to manage their overwhelming emotions and daily struggles. While reflective listening is still a vital part of play therapy, the other aspects of providing psychoeducation can be just a little too “brainy” for kids! Have you ever had a conversation with a child and they just zoned out only to ask, “Can I play my game now?” That is why play therapists do all of this work through the same idea as “rocking a baby”. We don’t need to heavily rely on psychoeducation in order to express this support, empathy, and non-judgement. We hold them metaphorically and “rock the baby” to help soothe them. We lend our nervous system to them during their play so they can play or “work” through the hard stuff and become activated while being in the presence of someone who is calm and providing a regulated nervous system.
We also allow for children to express themselves in whatever way they deem necessary without evoking shame or guilt. It is following self-expression where kids become open to utilize and learn new ways of thinking and coping. Again, this is still all modeled through play or activities. Which is why play therapists look for themes to be able to organize and make sense of a child’s play. When therapists have an idea of the theme they also can match it to a struggle in that child’s life and help them move through their stressor in a way that allows them to resolve and feel healed.
What Common Themes Emerge in Children’s Play During Therapy?
Here is a small list of examples of common themes that therapists look for in session. I could write another whole blog on themes and what they mean but we will keep this simple (De Bruin, 2018)
- Good guy vs bad guy
- Punishment
- Nurturing
- Rescue
- Mastery
Is Play Therapy Equally Effective for All Age Groups?
Play therapy is typically utilized for children 3 to 10 years old, but the word typically is used loosely here. Play therapy has been and can be used with adults, teens and people across all spans of life. Certain types of play therapy are even used to help establish and model healthy attunement for adults that was perhaps missed or neglected during an individual’s childhood. It is also important to note that not every individual’s developmental age matches their chronological age. I think this is just a great way of reminding us all that you are never too old to play!
How Can Parents Support the Play Therapy Process at Home?
The number one piece of advice I give to parents is, BE REAL, BE GENUINE, BE AUTHENTIC! Your child is always watching you to see how you react to life stressors. You are human, be one! By showing your child how you cope and manage with hard stuff you are helping them learn how they can express their own struggles and ask for help, which helps build their emotional intelligence. Be there and provide support and understanding! Parents, you do not need to fix the problem for your child! Just being there and showing love and acceptance allows them the opportunity to practice strengthening their own abilities and get through the hard stuff. If you are looking for more resources on navigating the hard stuff with your child, Little Otter provides some great resources for parents.
Blog written by Sentier therapist Bridgett Brye, MSW, LICSW.
Sources
Landreth, G. L. (2023). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (4th. ed.). Routledge.
De Bruin, K. (2018). Play therapy themes. Kathryn de Bruin. https://kathryndebruin.com/play-therapy-themes/
Blog written by Sentier therapist, Bridgett Brye, MSW, LICSW.
