Begin the transition 2-3 weeks before school starts, not the night before. Building a strong routine that your child can lean on once you add school to the mix will ease anxiety and help them feel prepared and successful for their first day. Children thrive on routine and feeling in control, so preparing them in this way sets a tone for the child and family for success for that first week.
Practice wake times, lunch prep, and the morning flow before day one. It is important that your child feels confident in opening things like their own drink or fruit cup and where things like parent pick-up line or bus stops are located. Knowing what a morning routine or a pickup line of yellow buses along sidewalk in front of schooloutine feels like can help reduce anxiety and get children out the door once school actually starts. Consider “practice school days” on a Saturday or Sunday to implement these routine reminders.
Invite your child to imagine how they want the year to feel, using language like “I want my 3rd grade year to feel…” or “after my first day of school, I want to feel…” Post your intentions somewhere where you can see them or reflect on them throughout the school year. Consider positive affirmations to share and say with your child, like “I am a very hard worker” or “I am so hard working and good at _____.” This lays out the attitude and positive vibe for the household and poses a great reminder of long-term goals.
Back to school anxiety and even separation anxiety is very common. Make space for excitement, nervousness, and everything in between without rushing to fix it. All of children’s emotions are valid, even the hard ones. Be sure to share difficult emotions you may have had as a student or be vulnerable to share that what they are feeling is normal and that everyone coming to school on the first day is nervous, even teachers!
Shift focus from what could go wrong to what could go right. What’s most important for the first week? First day? Start with something like “have fun” or “make a new friend”. Create this list together and post it in a common area like your refrigerator or dinner table.
Many Saint Paul area schools host events to get families into the schools which can make transitions back to school easier. Seeing the space, meeting teachers, and being reminded of the positive places in an environment can help ease anxiety. Plus you might run into a friend and be reminded of a friendship your child might be looking forward to picking back up. This is an excellent opportunity to consider parental involvement at schools. Being present at your child’s schools shows collaboration, connection, and support to both your school community and especially your child.
Turn back to school shopping into a moment of excitement and involvement. Consider online shopping so kiddos can have voice and choice in some of their things they will use every day. Maybe ordering a favorite lunchbox online vs what might be left over at a store can really brighten the start of school and set them off on a positive note.
Let your child make small decisions where possible, as this builds confidence as kids head into the year. Children crave control and autonomy. Consider where you can easily give this to them: Would you like yogurt or waffles for breakfast? Do you want to pick out your lunch for the first week or have a school lunch? What treats can we pick out for snacks or dessert in a lunchbox? These may seem like small decisions, but they build confidence and resilience in your child and help them feel supported and in control for their upcoming school days.
Back to school can seem like a rush, and it’s an easy time of year to get pressured or overwhelmed. When parents are stressed about back-to-school, children feel that too. Check in with yourself as a parent and how you show up for your child(ren). Know that community and support is out there.Sentier Psychotherapy offers parent support groups as well as play therapy, individual therapy for all ages (kids, teens, adults), family therapy and more.
Sources:
American Academy of Pediatrics (n.d.).AAP endorses new recommendations on sleep times.
AAP News. https://publications.aap.org/aapnews/news/6630/AAP-endorses-new-recommendations-on-sleep-times?autologincheck=redirected
Free family fun in the twin cities!. Family Fun Twin Cities. (2026, July 9). https://www.familyfuntwincities.com/twin-cities-free-budget/
Home. Saint Paul Public Schools. (n.d.). https://www.spps.org/
Blog written by Sentier Psychotherapist, Barbara Wormington MEd, LPCC
