A Teenager’s Guide: How to Stay True to Who You Are in a World of Influencers

If you ask teens today what they want to do for a career, many of them will tell you that they want to be social media influencers. Where does this come from? I have the privilege of doing therapy with teens for my job, so I have some thoughts.

The documentary “Child Star” made me think about how media and TV have influenced an entire generation of young people to think that fame and celebrity are attainable and common. Shows like “Hannah Montana” and “Dance Moms” turned preteen and teen girls into rock stars and reality stars. It made being a child actor or child celebrity seem commonplace and normal. This influenced an entire generation of young people to think that a reasonable way to be successful in life is to be famous or to be an influencer.

But in reality, influencers have been around since the beginning of time. Before technology and the internet, it looked like artists, writers, religious figures, and even politicians. The world has been trying to get people to go along with the masses as long as we have lived in community with each other. There have always been public figures who have more power and influence.

The challenge that we face today is how do we navigate the world of influencers and still hold true to ourselves and our values at the end of the day? This is a challenging time for teens because they are in the process of self-actualizing, figuring out who they are, and working on separating themselves from their parents and their parents’ beliefs and values.

What are influencers?

A social media influencer is a person who has built a large and active following on social media platforms and can influence their audience’s decisions. Influencers are sometimes experts in a particular field (fitness influencers, fashion influencers, etc.) and they use their knowledge and credibility to persuade their followers to act in a certain way through social media posts on different platforms.

There are 4 main types of influencers, and these types are based on follower count or type.

1. Nano influencers have 1,000 to 10,000 followers.

2. Micro – influencers have 10,000 to 100,000 followers.

3. Macro influencers have 100,000 to 1 million followers.

4. Mega or Celebrity influencers have 1 million or more followers.

Brands pay influencers according to the number of followers they have, which is known as influencer marketing.

Mega or Celebrity influencers have more “selling power” and tend to be paid directly for their reach and influence. They may not have to work as hard as other influencers because of their high number of followers and/or celebrity status.

While nano and micro-influencers have selling power, they are often paid only after shoppers have mentioned their names. These influencers have to work harder because of their smaller audience size.

A survey by Insider Intelligence found that 72% of respondents 18-to-29-years old follow influencers, and 61% purchased something after and influencer mentioned it in social media.

Influencers generated about $6 billion in sales in 2023. According to the article, more than 78% of marketers use influencer marketing to sell their products (Loeb, 2023).

In an article from Entrepreneur.com, it was stated that more than half of people globally have bought something in the past six months based on the recommendation of an online influencer. The article goes on to talk about a study that was done in 2019 about global trust in media, stating that 46% of consumers around the world say they do not have much trust in traditional media, which means newspapers, magazines, TV, and radio. Data from the 2019 Edelman Trust Barometer revealed that 74% of consumers across eight major countries intentionally avoid advertising. Thirty-nine percent said they had found ways to avoid almost all ads.  Because of this distrust of the media and avoidance of advertising, research has found that consumers trust influencers more than anything else. Sixty three percent of people said they trust influencers’ opinions of products “much more” than what brands say about themselves (Kim & Kim, 2002).

What is the appeal? Why do teens want to become influencers?

Being an influencer can appeal to a lot of young people. Influencers and the nature of the social media platforms can make it seem like there is a ton of flexibility, the ability to be your own boss and not have to work for anyone else, and the ability to make money fast and potentially without a lot of effort. It gives you access to things and people, and can potentially make you famous. Who would not want to take advantage of this opportunity if it was presented to them? I also think the appeal of being successful in this way without necessarily having a college degree or going into debt is appealing to the younger generations in a way that might not have appealed to the generations that came before them.

The reality, though, is that the 30 second video you saw on TikTok might have been 3 hours of recording and editing. What you see online is not necessarily what is happening in the real lives of the influencers you see on social media. Being an influencer requires you to work hard and be creative and create novel content every day. Influencers are also beholden to the brands they represent, so they are not always able to be their real and authentic selves without risking losing their brand deals. It is generally not near as glamorous as it all seems online  So, while being your own boss seems like a really cool idea, there’s a lot of risk involved in being an influencer (Lalwani, 2024).

The Pros and Cons Of Being a Social Media Influencer

Advantages of Being An Influencer	Disadvantages of Being An Influencer
High potential earning	Influencers can be subject to online abuse
Influencers work for themselves	Content creation is a lot of constant work
Freedom to control their own brand and company	Limited job security
Work from home or wherever you like	Reduced privacy and increased scrutiny
Manage your work-life balance better	Inconsistent earnings
Chances to be creative	You have to chase trends
You can collaborate with other brands	Accounts can be banned

The Struggle with Authenticity

Being authentic means being true to yourself, your values, and your spirit, even when faced with external pressures. It’s about living your life in a way that’s aligned with your values and goals rather than those of others (Lyons, 2024).

Being authentic can be hard because the human brain is wired to keep itself safe and to go along with societal norms and expectations. Going against the grain causes you to stand out or be noticed, and it could potentially put you at risk. For many, many years humans have embraced the safety factor of going along with the crowd in order to not stand out as a way to protect ourselves from being hurt by others.

We also live in a culture where people are expected to hustle and work hard, and to go above and beyond a lot of the time. If an influencer is going to go against the expectations of hustle, they’re going to allow themselves to slow down, experience the world, and explore their values and beliefs, there may be judgement. Slowing down to engage in self-care isn’t something that is always embraced, especially when society views a person’s work as carefree, easy and outside the norms of organized employment systems. Because of this, social media influencers are often looked at differently or looked down upon when they do engage in these activities.

Being your authentic self might feel selfish, especially if you live in a community or culture where going along with the norm is encouraged and embraced. Going against the grain can be seen as rebellious and defiant. Teens today are faced with a lot of pressure to conform and to be a certain way, and to not go against the grain. Those who do are often mocked or made fun of. Adolescence can be a difficult time of self-growth and self-understanding, and therefore, being authentic might be really scary and overwhelming as a social media influencer.

Practical Strategies for Staying Authentic

There’s a ton of research out there showing that social media can be dangerous for young people. It can have negative impacts on their self-esteem and mental health. It can influence the way they view themselves and others. Teens are aware of the dangers of being online, and the appeal is still so high that they’re going to continue to engage in it regardless of the risks. With that being said, how do you stay true to yourself when there’s a lot of noise and fake news trying to influence you to be a certain way or to act a certain way because of expectations online?

We all want to be the best versions of ourselves in our daily lives. Here are eight steps to work on getting to know your authentic self:

1. Define and embrace your uniqueness and strengths

What makes you you? Think about what you are good at, what you enjoy doing and how you show up for yourself and others. Make a list of the things you like about yourself and explore new ways to express and build on these parts of yourself.

2. Explore your values 

• • Values are like our guiding lights or a set of trail markers to follow to give meaning.
  • Figure out what is important to you in terms of how you live your life and how you show up for others
  • If we’re feeling that we’re lacking authenticity, it might be that we’re not living out our values.

3. Acknowledge external vs internal influence.

• • It is important to explore why we do what we do and where the influence comes from.
  •  Are we engaging in activities or behaviors because of our internal motivators and drivers, or are we making decisions based on external sources, like social groups or societal norms?
  • Pay attention to your internal self-talk, looking out for keywords like “should” and “need/ought to.”

4. Notice and name your emotion

• • Being able to acknowledge and experience a full range of emotions is only going to make it easier to express yourself and express your needs.
  • The more honest we are with ourselves and our emotions, the more authentic we can be with others.

5. Practice mindfulness

• • Having an internal practice of grounding and self-exploration is a great way to learn about who you are and your values.
  • Engaging in journaling or meditative practices or just another way to be more in touch with your emotions and to get to know yourself better.

6. Build a supportive community.

• • People need to figure out who their core group of friends or support system is going to be, as well as who they are and what they value.
  • One of the challenges to growing up is finding friends and support systems that align with your values and making sure that you are leaning into your own internal values versus the external influences that you get from media and other sources.
  • Most people want to fit in and be like their friends, so going against the social norms and The Social Network can be really scary. Finding a group that values you and your beliefs is going to be essential to being your authentic self.
  • Engage with positive mentors and role models that help promote individuality. This may be a teacher, a coach, or a family friend who you know and trust and can practice being authentic with.

7. Develop the courage to face your fears

• • Life can be hard and scary. Setting goals and finding the courage to face your fears and trying new things is one step towards being your authentic self.
  • Find ways to do the things you’ve always wanted to do even though they are hard and scary. If you have to bring a friend, bring a friend.

8. Take daily actions toward authenticity.

• • Being authentic is hard, and it takes practice and patience.
  • Take steps every day to do one or two things that honor your values and your strengths.
  • Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes. The goal is improvement, not perfection, and doing what you can every day to be your authentic self is still meeting those goals.

Social media isn’t going away, and people will continue to try to influence others to buy things or believe things. The best thing you can do as an individual is explore what your values are and make sure that you are holding true to those values as you live your life.

Setting Boundaries with Social Media

It is important to think about healthy boundaries with social media, especially once we see and recognize how it may be negatively impacting us. Boundaries are a crucial part of developing and maintaining self identity. Boundaries are limits and rules we set for ourselves to protect our own mental, emotional, and physical well being.

Consider taking some of these steps to set healthy boundaries that work for you and your relationship with social media and influencers:

1. Limit your time on social media. There are several ways to do this, including using the screen/app time features on your phone, limiting notifications from social media apps, and moving the apps off your home screen. Think “out of sight, out of mind.” Being bombarded by social media is not good for human development, growth, authenticity and mental health.
2. Schedule time “offline” to connect with friends in person, engage in activities you enjoy, or complete other tasks you want to get done during your day.
3. Challenge your thoughts when you go to compare yourself to others or influencers online. Remind yourself that you are only getting a curated snapshot of that person’s life.

Remember that it is okay not to always fit in and to act like everyone else. The world is a vast and beautiful place full of a variety of people. The best thing you can do is figure out who you are and find folks that align with your beliefs and values. This will only help you figure out who you are and what is important to you and help live your life authentically, and that will have a positive impact on yourself and the people and world around you.

Blog written by Sentier therapist, Ashley Groshek, LMFT.

Sources

Bashy. (2021, March 29). Disney’s coming of age shows were the ultimate cultural zeitgeists in the early 2000s. Medium. https://bashiratoladele.medium.com/disneys-coming-of-age-shows-were-the-ultimate-cultural-zeitgeists-in-the-early-2000s-38b2c52b065

Falls, J. (2021, February 10). Why consumers care about influencers, and why you should too. Entrepreneur. https://www.entrepreneur.com/growing-a-business/why-consumers-care-about-influencers-and-why-you-should-too/364993

Kim, J., & Kim, M. (2022, February 18). Rise of social media influencers as a new marketing channel: Focusing on the roles of psychological well-being and perceived social responsibility among consumers. International journal of environmental research and public health. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8872418/#sec6-ijerph-19-02362

Lalwani, U., Bernard, H., Craig, S. F., William, & Jennie. (2024, February 27.). The Pros & Cons of becoming a content creator. The Advantages and Disadvantages of Becoming an Influencer. https://www.superprof.com/blog/influencer-pros-and-cons/

Loeb, W. (2023, June 8). How influencers drive teenager purchases. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/walterloeb/2023/06/05/how-influencers-drive-teenager-purchases/

Lyons, M. P. (2024, July 29). Being your authentic self is easier said than done but worth it. BetterUp. https://www.betterup.com/blog/authentic-self

Mayer, B. A. (2023, October 10). So, your kid wants to be an influencer? Before you roll your eyes-read this. Parents. https://www.parents.com/gen-z-wants-to-be-social-media-influencers-8349212