Queer Joy: Appreciating the Positive Milestones in the Queer Journey

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Understanding the intersectional challenges faced by LGBTQIA+ individuals and how they impact the mental health of LGBTQIA+ children, teens, and adults is deeply important to providing comprehensive and effective care in medical, therapy, school settings, and more. But gaining that understanding also means facing the uncomfortable realities of discrimination and low mental health outcomes for queer folks.

As a queer person myself, interacting with these studies, statistics, and testimonies in order to write and educate on important topics surrounding supporting the LGBTQIA+ community can bring a heaviness that I find important to balance with an appreciation of the incredibly positive and hopeful aspects of queer life and community.

Just as important as acknowledging and addressing the inequality that LGBTQIA+ people face is celebrating significant milestones and positive narratives within the queer community. After all, queer people have full and complex lives both related to and separate from their gender and/or sexual orientation identity, and just as any other human, deserve to be celebrated for their whole self.

Pride month is one example of bringing to center stage the joys and wins of the queer community, but taking time to appreciate and highlight the daily joys of life can be practiced year round. So, with that, let’s talk about Queer Joy!

What is Queer Joy?

Queer joy looks a little bit different to everyone. It can be solitary and thoughtful, or loud and in community.celebrate life blog

As Dana Kaplan puts it, queer joy is “self-acceptance, community, power, and the vibrant celebration of identity. And it transcends mere happiness; it’s about finding authenticity and courage in the face of oppression. It fosters hope, resilience, and belonging, and allows us to keep on keeping on in our collective journey towards liberation.”

I talked to the Sentier team to collect some of their personal moments of queer joy:

  • “The first thing that comes to mind is the Queer Ritual metal festivals in Minneapolis; It feels so happy and safe being connected to this sea of beautiful humans you’ve never met before because we’re all part of the same story.”
  • “On Monday mornings, my partner and I meet up to go on an early morning walk. Starting off the week with slow appreciation of the quiet morning in the company of someone who sees the world similarly is a distinct joy.”
  • “I experience queer joy when I am in the company of queer community.”
  • “Looking around my house at the many art and objects crafted by queer people in my life brings me so much joy. Just as my community makes me feel like myself, the beautiful art that they make and share makes my house feel like home.”

Queer joy doesn’t have to be directly related to someone’s queer or gender identity. Our joy is queer because we are. Simply existing as a queer person in a world that tries to diminish and dehumanize us makes moments of joy extra special.

Queer Joy in Therapy

There can be a tendency in therapy spaces in particular to focus on deficits, which makes some sense – the reason folks are seeking professional mental health support is to address challenges such as depression, anxiety, gender dysphoria, trauma, and substance use. But part of overcoming those challenges is recognizing our strengths, wins, and courage.

Taking time to think about and celebrate the positive that exists alongside the negative bolsters self-esteem, self-worth, and overall well-being. Anxiety can be paralyzing, but what about that time that you bravely went to an event with other queer people? Let’s recognize our bravery when we process anxiety. Gender dysphoria is uncomfortable and unpleasant, but remember how it felt to put on that outfit that made you feel like YOU? Gender dysphoria exists, and so does gender euphoria.

Human beings are incredibly resilient and having an awareness of that is an important part of healing and thriving in one’s true identity. I asked the Sentier team some moments of queer joy that they have witnessed in therapy sessions:

  • “I’ve witnessed multiple coming outs in session. In one family session, a client told their parents about their queer identity and the parents – without saying a word – both stood up, took their child’s hands, embraced them for a long while… and then started cheering!”
  • “A trans client decided to schedule online sessions so she could wear her preferred makeup and clothing, which she didn’t yet feel comfortable wearing out of the house. The joy she experienced in expressing herself more fully during therapy was palpable through the computer screen.”
  • “I’ve had some younger clients tell me about their first time at Pride or gay camp, being surrounded by people just like them, celebrating who they are. Their faces light up and I always notice improved mental well being following these experiences. It’s such an honor and joy to see!”
  • “I have a client who is a transgender person whose journey has been hard. In a recent therapy session, their eyes were filled with tears of joy when they told me that they finally feel right in their body and that the world finally sees them how they have always felt.”

Family and Community Support for Queer Joy

The importance of supportive families in the queer journey cannot be overstated. Amidst the support through struggle, confusion, and growing pains, part of the role of families is to show enthusiasm for the joy they witness in their children. A good grade, a finished art project, a new friend, a fresh haircut – life is too short and unpredictable not to celebrate! affirming parents blog

For me personally, celebrating queer joy with my communities is one of my biggest motivators. Just as we hold each other through the depressing news cycle, personal struggles, and existential dread, our joy is resistance, our joy is liberation, and our joy deserves to be seen and heard, always.

Within my community, celebrating together becomes an important ritual. Gathering to sing as a group in order to ring in a legal name change, getting dinner to celebrate a new job, having a “T(ea) Party” on a one year anniversary of going on testosterone, planning an elaborate themed birthday party, the reasons to deeply celebrate go on and on.

Queer and trans people throughout the centuries have made huge sacrifices in order to increase safety, visibility, and quality of life for generations of queer people after them. Among the horrors of violence and oppression, queer joy stands firmly in the history of queer liberation in the united states and acts as armor against the forces that try to make queer people feel unloved, unseen, and unworthy.

To the LGBTQIA+ community – what are some moments of queer joy that you have felt today, this month, this year, and across your life? What does queer joy look, sound, smell, taste, and feel like?

To LGBTQIA+ allies – what are some moments of joy that you have experienced in the company of queer people? How have you witnessed queer joy in the people around you? What brings you joy?

Blog written by Sentier Client Care Coordinator, Ellie Struewing, BA.

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