1. Attention: To be noticed
2. Power: To be the boss
3. Revenge: So you can feel as badly as I feel
4. Inadequacy: To be left alone or feeling discouraged
Below are some charts to explain the Four Mistaken Goals of Misbehavior. These charts describe what your child may be actually needing from you, and ways to respond to your child to help them get their needs met in healthy, adaptive ways.
Please note that children are generally not AWARE that they are doing these four things when they are doing them. It is not intentional until younger children are older. These behaviors are almost a reflex to not having their needs met. It is also assumed that children are well-rested, fed, etc. when considering the Four Mistaken Goals of Misbehavior.
Children do best when they are encouraged and when they feel that they are being successful. Dreikurs states, “ A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water”. Finding everyday ways to help encourage your child to succeed is essential when helping little humans grow into young adults.
What are some barriers you face when trying to help your child be successful?